Time.

Mentally broken…
In a state so frozen…
Time passes by so quickly not caring about my wish…
I wished for time to be slower or maybe just reasonably normal, but when you’re with me time becomes faster than the falling star…
As soon as you’re out the door I find myself left with only ashes in-between my hands…
Ashes that so quickly vanish even with still air…
With you, time becomes the two extremes.
So loved and hated… hated because it’s loved.
Time becomes the sweetest contradiction.
Time with you is tastefully pleasurable, but why does pleasure have to be so full of questioned pride?
It cares none about my wish…
When you leave, pleasure leaves too…
Time with you is the water… forever liquid, forever hard to hold.
I wish I could freeze it so holding it would be easier and slower for it to slip through my hands.
Time is different when you leave…
Nothing keeps it going except my thinking of you…
I think of you in all times…
Falling asleep with all the spotlights on becomes habitual, for my brain is so tired of working with thoughts of you.
You’re always on my mind except when sleeping takes me away from you…
But few times I find you in my dreams…
And wishing to always see you there becomes a ritual.
When you leave, time becomes my helper to carry on, and it becomes the enemy that I fight with all the power that’s left in me…
Time gives me the chance to think of you and happiness will be the result.
Time makes me want to send you a message asking how can you be missed so quickly?
But I fight my wish.
I fight time.
I fight time to show that I’m still strong…
I fight time to show that I’m not weaker than time…
Not yet… at least not yet.

15-1-2008